Well, the day is fast approaching where I will have to return back to work. I check the website where my leave is calculated weekly hoping that I added incorrectly. As much as I would love to just go ahead and cut into my annual leave since I have taken all of my sick leave in advance just to stay home the 8 weeks that I have been home, I want to save that leave for doctors visits (like when I take her to get her ears pierced after her next Doctor's appointment) and much needed vacation or should I say first ever Family vacations.
It has been absolutely amazing to be home with my baby for the first six weeks of my life. I absolutely wish that I could spend the first year with her and had a maternity leave like they do in Canada. Its so heartbreaking because just as soon as your baby gets used to being awake more during the day and becomes more interactive with you, you have to make plans for them to be with someone for at least 6-7 hours out of the day.
We have begun the process of looking for child care but thankfully have at least a month where she will be home longer because my sister in law is coming in town to stay with us for a month. She will get to spend time with her niece and she will be doing us a favor by watching her during the day. I absolutely wish that I could alter my work schedule where I would only have to report to the office when I have clients scheduled and for all the data entry and phone calls that I make, I could do them at home. At this point, I only have the majority of my offenders reporting to the office only one week every 60 days. It would be so nice to only have to go to the office 2 weeks every 60 days. That would be a dream!
Well time for me to wake up and face reality. I see how hard it is for my husband to leave in the morning once he spends time with baby girl. Its absolutely hard for him to leave her smiling face after he lays her on his chest. I absolutely know that it will be just as hard for me. Some of the adjustments that I plan to make initially is to change my work hours. I used to work 9 hours a day which including my commute would equate to 11 hours away from the house. I am now hoping that since baby girl's sleep schedule is now first long sleep from 9pm to 12am, wake to eat 2oz at 4, again at 6am - that when she wakes for her 4 am feeding that I can get the energy to go ahead and head to the office. If I report at 6:30am, then I can leave the office after lunch at 3pm and be home within a reasonable amount of time to nap and spend a great deal of time while its still light outside with my daughter. If not, then when she wakes at 6am, I am up right before then and heading to the office by 7:00-7:30. I am also hoping that my commute will be shortened because of the time of day that I head to the office. Now that I am thinking this out - I may just go into the office a few days next week for half days just so I can get used to that schedule but not be required to come into the office every day.
I have a super stressful job, so its a dream that not only will I have help at home the first month that I return back to work but also its a dream that I have such a pleasant baby. My mother said that I am blessed. As much as people would fuss about my continued use of caffeine while pregnant saying that my child will be fussy because of the withdrawal, etc. and so many other things like "sleep now because you will never get sleep later", in all honesty, we are blessed. She does not get up in the middle of the night as if her days and nights are confused. She only wakes to eat and goes right back to sleep within 15 mins. She doesn't spend her days crying - she spends them smiling or silently content.
The hardest part of returning back to work will not be physical exhaustion but it will be certainly emotional. That is my first born, my baby that I will be leaving at home. It is going to tear my little heart apart. I know that I said that I quit breastfeeding but I went for my 6 week postpartum check up and since I had only stopped pumping a week and a half prior, my OB gave me a prescription that is going to help the production of my milk. As much as we make bottles around here, if I can just make enough to supplement all the formula that she is getting these days, it will make me feel better and it will save some money. I have only been taking the medication for three days but I have already been able to see my milk returning. I will have to find a place to pump when I return to work and prayerfully I can do that - unfortunately I don't have the office that I used to have and have been moved into a cubicle environment so this will be quite interesting.
If you have any tips for me as I return to work, just let me know..
Until next time,