We just got our pictures back from her newborn shoot and its making me fall in love with her all over again. She is so gosh darn cute. She loves her binky and will not let that thing go unless she is in a complete slumber.
Sadly, time is flying and I will have to go back to work sooner than later. I have to prepare my mind and heart for getting back to a reasonable routine. Today for the first time since giving birth, I got my nails and eyebrows done. It's amazing how much I feel more like myself.
I am still deciding on my actual return to work date, but it breaks my heart just to think about it - so I shall just continue to enjoy home a little while longer.
One thing that I have enjoyed about post-labor that I have come to find out is that just like labor there are other things in caring for your baby that you can not plan either. I PLANNED to breastfeed my child. Well, not so much - As much as I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, my milk supply has never caught up to the demand of a growing newborn. I was stubborn and determined to suffer through the whole painful process that is breastfeeding but then I realized that my happy baby that I had was slowly becoming extremely fussy and not taking naps as often without being held after feedings. I realized it was because she was still hungry and looking for where the next meal was coming from. It took me a few painful days to realize it - and mostly emotionally painful then physically painful to accept that its ok to formula feed my baby if its giving her nourishment and part time breastfeed my baby to give her the nutrients that I can give her at the least. So I now have 3 breast pumps because I am that determined to find a system that worked. So far so good - I have a system that works and a happy, growing baby. Not to mention, the shrinking waistline and hips are a PLUS! I am so excited that not only did I not have to buy maternity pants my entire pregnancy, but even after buying that same size post baby, they are too big and falling off. Its my hope to be down an additional whole size before going back to work. Fingers crossed.
It is amazing to me as I look at pictures that we took with Gracia in front of our Christmas tree this year that the grace of God really did allow what I spoke last year to come to pass. Last Christmas we sat in front of the tree, my husband and I, with a few gifts to exchange between the rest of us. I told him then that we may as well soak this all in because by next Christmas, we will have gifts for children under the tree - and sure enough, thats exactly what happened.
And this is just the beginning. She brings us so much joy that it should not surprise anyone around us (or maybe it will) that we literally started talking about when we will try for her siblings almost as soon as we had her. My husband literally asked me while we were still in the hospital. We both love her and love children and always knew that we wanted some what of a big family. So who knows.. this year can be full of surprises.
Until then, the new normal - living with a newborn who is growing and changing and discovering that which she likes. Coming back up for air feels great - and FINALLY I can get back to regularly scheduled posts that I have been meaning to write now that my mind is not as clouded with exhaustion and adjustment.