The Love Series: Marriage, It's Nothing to Play with

This post is brought to by my wonderful hubby! You can read more of his thoughts here.

So, ok... if you pay any attention to the media in the past 6-8months, you have probably seen or heard about several celebrity couples filing for divorce, smh...

C'mon!!! Is this a joke??? I mean, does anyone understand the true meaning of Marriage anymore??? Is Marriage the new "going steady???" LOL, smh.... It's not funny, but it's funny cause it's becoming so "blahhhh" nowadays... Some of these people who are influenced by these celebrities are now probably thinking that Marriage is like a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship and when it doesn't work, just file for Divorce....HUH?? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO??? I could talk about this for days, but I'm not, LOL.



I got married a little less than 1 year and 1/2 ago...  It was one of the best decisions I could've made as an Adult Male. The reason is that, when you are a driven, goal-oriented, successful, well-groomed Man, it gets difficult to move forward in life alone... it's awesome to have someone to share it with.  You see, I have the ULTIMATE WIFE, she's my best friend, my confidant, my lover, my fighter (LOL), my beauty, my "rib", my focus... Without her, I'd probably be a quiet, cool, mean, shy, hermit, unapproachable big talented teddy-bear (don't ask me how all that works, LOL)...  We have our share of challenges, but we both didn't enter into this with the mindset that it was going to be easy... the more we communicate, fight, laugh, make love (hehehehehe we "grown-folk" LOL), PRAY, sleep and eat together, the more our Marriage develops and strengthens.


You know what I think?  Many people out here are driven by their emotions and hormones, LOL... When two people are attracted to each other, one of the main things that draws them to each other is "physical" attraction... Most men I know are "visual" so once we lock-in to a female and her "features" we become driven to connect and conquer... Once the connection is made and survives "first-base" (movie date, dinner, starbucks LOL) or sometimes "first-base" is bypassed and goes for a "grand-slam" (no pun intended, LOL)... Well, if the two don't just become FWBs or FBs (not talking about Facebook, LOL) they may fall into the "relationship" zone.

This zone (just like everything else in life) has a "honeymoon" season and if both parties are both thinking long-term then there's a strong chance that they'll make it "over the broom" (marriage)... But nowadays many couples are "comfortable" with being "life-partners" instead of being "married"... WHERE DID THAT COME FROM????

To me, that's crazy... what happened to wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone??? What happened to a women wanting to give up her "last-name"????  What happened to a man who wanted to be considered a "provider" and not just a "partner"... Now, don't jump on me, I am a believer in a woman also being a provider, but there are certain things I still hold on to that a women can do that a man can't do... the same vice-versa.  Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, smh

I want to go back to the days of my Parents, before my mom passed in 1999, my parents were married for 32yrs. THAT'S AWESOME!!!  I loved seeing my parents interact with each other... it was magical.  Nowadayz, it's rare to see Married Couples stay passed 10yrs... the other day I saw an article about a 99year old Italian Man divorcing his wife of 77years over 70 year-old affair... THAT LITERALLY BLEW MY MIND!!!

Well, although we see a lot of negative news on Marriage, I still believe that there are still great examples of beautiful marriage, like our President and First Lady :-)

I love what they represent, brings joy to my soul (sigh)

So, let's hope that the media will shift their focus off of the negative aspect of marriage and switch to the more positive (I strongly doubt they will, smh).  Until then, I'm going to hold on the examples I got from watching my parents when I was younger... If they made it, I know my wife and I will make it. 

Later :-)

Hubby

The Love Series: Life's Love Lessons for Valentine's Day

I'd love to show you a craft-a-day and show you how to create wonderful vignettes for decorating your house for the Valentine's Day season, something that my grandmother used to do with us when we were little, however, we are in the process of packing and moving. And so, instead I will be doing a Love Series or in other words a series on love-related-topics-to-make-me-reevaluate-my-relationships-with-people-my-significant-other-and-how-to-love-me-better series.

I get asked the most random questions about love and relationships. As well as, see displays of love every where that I wish everyone could see... it would give hope and hopefully allow people to give Love a chance when the realize its not like how the Disney Movies taught us. It takes work and you have to be intentional about maintaining your happy. And with that comes small sacrifices at times.

I ran across a wonderful post that made me crack up because it just goes to show that every couple has something they argue about. And if you were honest with yourselves, every couple truly has the same argument over and over again just in different forms. For my husband and I, we have named our perpetual argument, "the Spaghetti argument" ...

Laura at The Bloggess wrote about this argument she had with her husband: "The Puppies Aren't My Fault"

"Me calling my friend Laura after I had a fight with Victor about something stupid that was actually probably my fault to begin with.

Laura:  Hello?

me:  So, I’m sitting in the parking lot of the Dollar Store because I just had a big fight with Victor and I told him I needed to get out of the house, but now I feel all bitchy and I don’t want to see a movie or shop or eat and I just realized I don’t have any outside hobbies.  I AM TERRIBLE AT FIGHTING WITH VICTOR.

Laura: Huh.

me:  By the way, this is Jenny.

Laura:  I figured that one out.  You can come to my house and I’ll feed you ice cream.

me: I’m lactose intolerant.

Laura:  Then I will give you a puppy.

me:  That would be nice, actually.  And then when Victor was like “Why do you have a puppy?” I could say “Because you were mean to me.”

Laura:  And every time you have a fight you come home with a new puppy.  It’s like couple’s therapy but with puppies.

me:  OhmyGod, we are going to have SO. MANY. PUPPIES.

Laura:  The puppies are a metaphor, Jenny.  Don’t really buy a bunch of puppies when you’re mad.  Everyone always regrets angry revenge puppies.

me:  Oh, I’m getting puppies.   There’s gonna be puppies everywhere.  And then when Victor is all “WHERE ARE ALL THESE PUPPIES COMING FROM?” I’d just say “These puppies came from you.  You brought these puppies into our house.  With your wrongness.”  And then he’d complain that I was the one that kept sneaking puppies in and I’d have to explain that his actions brought the puppies in.  And then he’d realize just how crazy it is to fight about ridiculous shit for no reason at all.  Also, the puppies get shafted because we aren’t responsible enough to have that many puppies.  I mean, think about the puppies, Victor.

Laura:  So, it’s his fault you have all these puppies.

me:  Right?  NOW I DON’T EVEN LIKE PUPPIES BECAUSE I RESENT BEING SMOTHERED IN THEM.  YOU’VE RUINED PUPPIES FOR ME, VICTOR.

Laura:  You know what?  I don’t know the details but I can pretty much say without a doubt that you are right and he’s being irrational.  THESE PUPPIES ARE NOT HELPING ANYONE, VICTOR.

me:  *deep breath*  I feel better.

Laura:  Good.  Now stop being crazy, go home to your husband, and tell him to stop it with all the puppies.

And that’s exactly what I did.  And he just sort of looked at me oddly and made us lunch and we watch Pawn Stars together.  And that’s why I love Victor and also why we don’t have a puppy."

So Lesson #1: Just know that at the end of the day. Remember that just when you think that the other person has wronged you in some way, remember that they have to put up with your crazy rants from time to time as well... and it takes a very special person to deal with that side of you on a consistent basis.

I understand why my mother always congratulates my husband for "dealing" with me.. LOL. Hey we clearly all have our moments.

The "Venus and Serena Williams" of it all...

My little sister and I are three years apart.

Clearly it was easy for my mom to have two girls back to back... we stayed in outfits that were similar if not the same... it was great because we did most things together- dance, sing, and definitely entertain each other when either one of us got bored. I used to be taller then she was and those days of being the taller, older sister ended right around me going to the 9th grade... I quickly had to get over that.

But perhaps its a sister thing... Venus and Serena may never get called Jasmine and Joi but we have heard it all as far as comparisons with them over the years. Especially when they first hit the scene as great tennis players and when they grew up, we grew up... and when their hair would change color or lengths so did ours... and the comparisons kept coming... trust, in no way however, are we tennis stars not even novices in the least.

via Google Images

But, Sisters we are... There used to be a time, that despite my sister shooting up to be 5'11 and my remaining at 5'8 since I was in college... we used to be able to shop in the same stores, exchange shirts and what not... borrow dresses.. not so much pants because I was the curvier sister- always have been since I can remember.

But nonetheless, reality is... I have gained more weight then I had ever desired or thought I was capable. Afterall, it took me until my second year in college to reach a good 100 lbs. and that was a proud accomplishment.

So here we are today... and yes, compare away..

                                                                                      via Google Images

 But when I thought about what my weight loss goal would be for 2012. I had to really look back and see where I took pictures and was happy with what I saw.. this picture below was about 4 years ago. I was in BEBE clothing and loved that I could fit everything and still keep my curves. That is important to me. Just like Serena, I am quite proud to be curvy... and at one point, FIT!

So what's the whole Venus and Serena of it all??... well, I recently saw this picture of Serena and added it to my vision board. She looks great here and hasn't lost any of her curves. If I had a weight loss goal. It would be to be able to get down to this size and as motivation and reward - do a photo shoot like this one. Sometimes, I would talk myself out of the desire to lose weight by believing that I was happy with the way that I look, but the way that I see myself in the mirror is the me that I used to be.. afterall, I was always on the slim/curvy side of life. However, mirrors lie and pictures really tell the truth. I want to be able to look at my pictures these days and say, WOW I am too FLY for my own good... like I used to. I am ready to take on the challenge..

via Serena Williams Twitter Profile

At the end of it all.. this is what I want to see myself looking like. It may take some time. Life may get in the way, but the goal remains the same. "Become Serena's body double." Just Kidding..

Become the best me I know I can be!

My Fitness Pal: Tackling a Resolution

Well, I know that I had posted some New Year's Resolutions and have not spoken much of them lately. That is probably because I have not done much in achieving them. Isn't that typically how New Year's Resolutions work? Ok. Fine. It's just me then...

However, I did say that I was ready to lose weight. And with looking at every photo and cringing at how I look and remembering what size I was wearing when I met hubby to what size I wear now and try to laugh it off like its ok that there are so many sizes in between... I had made up my mind that even if I start slowly, its definitely time for me to start.

So, since everyone at work is also dieting ... mind you it is still January and everyone is still checking off losing weight off their New Years Resolutions, I finally decided to just ask around to see what tools others were using.

A co-worker shared with me this FREE (cause you know if I have to pay for it, its never going to get accomplished) weight-loss tool that reminds me of Weight Watchers online. The only difference is that instead of counting points, it takes your weight, you set the goal and then it gives you the alloted calories that you will be able to consume per day to reach your goal.

Its also an online community, so you can chat and update your status with friends and blog and join groups, etc. Its actually quite a great idea... but their best yet, is the fact that you can scan the barcode on a package to enter in your food content. How easy is that?!

So I was sold! Went to the homepage...

Entered in what I had consumed today, even down to my fattening snack (two butter crunch cookies from the Great Cookie... hey, I said I was starting SLOW) that I was eating while scolling through the site. Then, Reality set in... I was already over in my calories resulting in -257 for the day and its CLEAR that I don't consume enough protein as my protein content was very low... hence testing for borderline anemia recently... definitely lowered my caffeine intake to combat that... My goal is to lose a significant amount of weight by the Summer.

SO.... what now?

...make small attempts at getting my 3 workouts per week for 30 mins and hope that then I will at least begin to see results. I just need to shift some calories for certain meals around and I will be at a slow pace towards my goal.

The goal so far is to lose two pounds a week. Wish me luck..

What are you doing for your weight loss??

BTW. THIS POST IS STRICTLY MY OPINION AND MY PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION AND IN NO WAY WAS I COMPENSATED! Although I wish I was... so My Fitness Pal if you are out there and want to sponsor me let me know..

Don't You love a Good Maxi Dress?

Anyone who knows me, knows that ironically my favorite color is Grey! and that I am a sucker for anything MAXI! I love a great Maxi dress! Anything that fits really comfy yet dressy enough for me to get away with as business casual with the right accessories is a winner in my book. Not to mention anything hugs in the right place and hides the other not so right places will always get my vote.

Check out this Maxi Dress, the Piazza Novana from my partners at Shabby Apple..

Paired with those red sandals is a win win in my book! The Piazza Novana is a floor length Maxi dress, which makes it so versatile. AND did somebody say SALE?! Use PROMO code NEWYEAR to get 20% off.

Check out other dresses and accessories for Women and Kids as well as some Crafts and Home Decor. If you ever want to check them out again in the future, there is always a link on my sidebar.. Happy Shopping!